Episode 2: Bitches and Hoes

Nuzlocke: A Leaf Green Run

Nick: Now that thats done I think I can go.

Erica: Then let's go Nick!

 Nick: Hold your ponytas, I'm leaving for a while, let me get one last good look at this town.

Erica: I thought you said you wanted to get out as fast as possible.

 Nick: You calling me slow?

Erica: Yes.

Nick: Moving on...wow, is it just me or does this town have an obesity problem?

Erica: No, he's just fat.

Nick: Shhhhh Erica, you'll wake the snorlax!

Both: hahahahahahahahahah!

As they laughed the man felt dizzy, a pain in his chest, and suddenly fell over, instantly dead from a massive heart attack.

Erica: Haha! Snorlax used Earthquake!

Nick: No he's actually dead, now seems like a great time to leave. 

As Nick and Erica proceeded to run discreetly to the edge of town, they slowed, with route 1 in front of them, and looked back on the quaint village.

Nick: You know I might actually miss this place. Maybe when I visit next time when I'm champion I'll put some money into it. But thats a long ways down the road.

Erica: It sure is...lets go to Veridian. I'm ready for adventure!

Nick: And so am I! Lets go! And if I had any Pokeballs I could catch a friend, but since I don't this is your once free chance to fuck the living shit out of the first Pokemon we see.

Erica: Consider him fucked.

Nick: We are going to make the BEST team.

The team of two found their way easily through the grassy expanses of route 1, growing and learning all the way to Viridian City.

Erica: First stop...Pokemon Center. 

Nick: Sounds good.

Erica: I fucking love pokemon centers.

Nick: Me too, me too. Well maybe I can get some pokeballs.

Erica: It might be cool to have someone else to talk to. 

Nick: Hey. I'm cool.

As they walked from the Pokemon center to the Pokemart, a man approached them.

 

Nick: No, no, and...well...no.

Man: Great! I'll tell you!

Nick: Erica, as some as you learn ember, we are coming right back here, and are burning this guy like a toaster strudel left in the toaster for half an hour.

Erica: That was a pretty shitty analogy, but hey, I'm in.

Nick: I don't like this town. Lets just get the pokeballs and get out of here.

Nick: Um...how do you know that?

Clerk: Lucky guess. Anyways...

Nick: No sorry, you see I've moved on from Pallet Town. I'm a roamer, a traveler a...Pokemon Trainer.

Clerk: you forgot one. 

Nick: Huh?

Clerk: Professor Oak's bitch and delivery boy. Here you go.

Nick: Dear god, can I at least buy some pokeballs?

Clerk: Oh yes! How many do you want?

Erica: get 6.

Nick: 6 should be sufficient.

Clerk: Of what?

Nick: Pokeballs.

Clerk: Oh can I see your ID.

Nick: Fine.

Clerk: Oh sorry I can't sell too Professor Oak's bitch.

 Nick: Oh Erriicaaaa? Were gonna save this guy until you know flamethrower.

Erica: I. Hate. Veridian. City.

Our heros endured a shameful walk back to Pallet, whereupon Erica learned Ember, and grew to level 8. They fulfilled their promise to each other by turning back even as they were nearing their destination, and turning the caterpillar man's caterpillar into a burnt breakfast sausage.

Nick: Well, not much has changed, Erica.

Erica: No shit.

Nick: Let's just deliver this package to Oak. And I need to have a talk with him about who is who's bitch.

Nick: Take the package old man, and Erica is not yours anymore.

Erica: I do not wished to be refered to as a possession you ancient hobo.

Oak: Oh, thank you bitc...Nick.

Nick: I. Am not. Your bit...

Kene: WAZ UP GRAMPS.

Nick: no. No. NO. NO!

Oak: Hello Kene, I called you two here to give you these. These are called Pokedex, and they are very useful and expensive pieces of equipment.

Nick: Erica, I hope you added Oak and Kene the bean to the Flamethrower list.

Erica: No shit, Sherlock.

Oak: Your job is to use this to study all the pokemon you can find in the wild. It will be recorded on here. Now I would do this myself....

Nick: Try Viagra you old bastard.

Nick and Erica proceeded to complete a jumping highfive, in which Erica displayed her amazing skill for the high jump, and they missed the next of what Oak said because of their convulsing laughter.

Kene: I'm going to get a town map from my sister.

Kene ran out of the room at top speed laughing his ass off.

Erica: He is an evil human being. Someday karma is going to bit him in the ass so hard, he won't shit for months.

Nick: Oak, what is your granddaughters name?

Oak: Daisy, Why?

Nick: No reason....

Nick, in defiance of Kene, went to his house and told Daisy he wanted a town map, along with the story of why he was back so soon.

Nick: You...understand?

Daisy: Yeah my brother and grandfather? Total pricks...

Nick: How old are you?

Daisy: 17, one year older than you and Kene, remember...heres your town map.

Nick: I.......would you like to see my room?

Daisy: Sure...Why?

Nick: Erica, would you be so kind to stay here for a bit while I show Daisy my room?

Erica: (claps).

Revenge on Kene and Oak was had.

Nick: Glad I'm not sleeping in this bed for a while.

Erica: As a girl I am disgusted, but as your best friend, I am so proud...